FIND THE LOVE YOU SEEK

Hello lovelies, I can't believe I'm saying this but I have greatly missed you all. Having not blogged in like two and a half months seemed like forever, however, I am back and even better. 

It happens that my launch date falls on the day after Valentines Day, which is a "yaaaayyy" for me. I am not one for glorifying this day. However, while we are still on the topic of love, I though we should talk about self-love.

It goes without saying, self-love is essential. We can't give love if we haven't learnt how to love ourselves. However, the question is, how do we go about it? 

1. Accept your flaws

Like any other human, we fall, we make mistakes, we also find ourselves in some very compromising situations. We end up loathing ourselves for the messes we have gotten ourselves into. But we have to remember, that we are human, and we are bound to make mistakes time to time. I too have found myself in situations that i though i had gotten a handle of, but i remind myself that i am human and i am bound to fall. That despite it all, those flaws are what makes you. I am reminded that God loved us even in our sin and in our messes. Who are we not to love ourselves, when our creator looks past our shortcomings.  

2. Remind yourself you are beautiful the way you are

We made in the likeness of God, and in His likeness we are beautiful. Beauty does not lie on what you see in the mirror, it is what you radiate to the world as a person. It is your character, your personality, the vibe you leave after conversing with someone. It is your confidence and how you carry yourself around others. I have learnt not to shy away from things that show my personality, for it is those little things that attract people worth of you, to you.

She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. ~ Anais Nin

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3. Do not let others pull you down

When you develop love for yourself and appreciation for the person you are, there are things you don't let come your way. Negativity is one of the things that try to steal the joy and appreciation of who you are. However it is that one thing that will always try to come your way to remind you that you are worthless and you dont deserve any love. I have learnt to let the nay-sayers talk as they don't benefit me in any way. All you have to do is focus on is building your identity. 

 “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt 

                   4. Remind yourself that you are not a product of your past

They are many time i have found myself worrying about things of the past. I realized the more i kept dwelling on them, they continue to lower my self-esteem. However, i remind myself that the past is just but the past. I am a new me, the old me is gone. The new me has learned to forgive herself of the mistakes she made.  She has learned to grow from those mistakes and is still continuing to grow. 

5. Remember to show yourself self-care

This is one of the greatest thing i have had to learn. Life comes with its stressors, be it, from school, family, relationships etc. But for you to stay above it all, you need to learn self-care. This means taking time off to focus on rejuvenating your mind, body and soul. We don't realize how much this has to do with self-love, however, it plays such a huge role. You need to get rid of all the toxicity to have room for love in yourself. The moment i let go of all the hurt, anger, bitterness, negativity, its like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I am now able to begin appreciating myself once more.  

6. Going to people to seek love does not make you love yourself any better

For a long time, i struggled with this. I needed people to validate me, to make me realize that i worth so much more. However, what happened is that i ended up feeling worse than i did before. I had to learn that nothing good comes from seeking validation from people, objects. What it does is keep stealing bits and bits of your soul until there is nothing left but an empty soul. There is nothing wrong in taking time off everything to focus on learning more about yourself, to begin appreciating yourself once more. There is also nothing that's as hard as that. But it goes a long way.

“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.” ~ Barbara De Angelis 

 

7. Create your own happiness

Once i took some time to focus on myself, i learnt that i am my own happiness. I should never rely on anyone to make me happy. I no longer have to seek other people's company to feel content. They are just an addition to my happiness, not the epitome of my happiness. I no longer get bored by the emptiness of my house whenever my mum or sister are not there, i actually marvel in it. There is so much joy that comes with serenity of your own self. It is through such moment, you get to reflect on your journey and growth. 

“You’re always with yourself, so you might as well enjoy the company.” ~ Diane Von Frustenberg
 

8. Don't be afraid to be you

The final thing is never be afraid to be yourself. You are the best you could be. Once you are able to learn all the things ive mentioned above, it just comes naturally. These i never worry of how people might perceive me, or how they might interpret the things i do. This is because i know who i am. I know what my identity is. I am the best version of me. 

 

I hope you have enjoyed this piece, and i hope you will come back again. But before you go, be sure to check out the new website, leave me a comment of what you like most of it. Also be sure to subscribe to my newsletter to join the family. 

Photography: Kayphotography

xoxo,